Again it’s another
school of thought, quite different from rest of the blogs. During my schooldays
I was simply a happy-go-lucky type boy willing to accept life as it comes. Not extra
ordinarily brilliant in academics but rather a mini genius blended with some
radical changes codifying me a boy blessed with some idiosyncrasy tic attitude.
The same phenomena also repeated during my graduation days at OUAT Bhubaneswar.
Initial days
were surrounded with my flamboyance. I was completely carefree as if
supernatural would going to work upon my destiny & would have been dragging
me to the zenith of success. Beside the insane thought of being an undisputed
king in my own wisdom, I always built my dream castle and stated ruling in my
own territory of thought with my princess charming. Now a days I am feeling
shame for my carefree stubborn attitude of reckless day dreaming, which is now
a saga of unending pain, nightmare and agony.
Though I have
earlier mentioned, I was floating upon the breast of fog, enjoying the lurid beauties of Bengal,
totally carefree type with absurd thought; completely brutal & barbaric.
Right now am asking myself why I was completely carefree & stubborn during
my master’s days at Kalyani (KOLKATA). Life was so unnatural and so carefree
type evaded from all responsibilities. I was completely oblivious with the
companionship of my juniors. Life was bouncing rudderless along the successive tidal
crust and tough of time leaving me complete unaware of the forthcoming future
trauma.
The long
journey of Master’s and Doctoral programme is going to complete soon. But I am just
like a good for nothing, with no lucrative job in my bag yet. My juniors are
right now well established; friends are almost completed first phase of life
& heading towards the second phase (Family Life). But for me it’s like a
culmination of agonies. It’s a diabolic plan of luck, a cold blooded disposal
for me aside the vast flow of success. The preludes to some worst happiness
were designed for me during my post graduate days.
Knowingly or
unknowingly I was complete ignorance of a fact that a most successful girl is
my girl friend; who is a master of her own. By quitting two prestigious jobs
she already proved her loyalty that until and unless I will get a job she
should not engage herself in the earning process. She is rather happy by
sitting behind my pillion rather to show the independent attributes of her
official melodrama. A girl who had a wish to join XIMB (XAVIER INSTITUTE OF
MANAGEMENT) for her dream to become a business/corporate professional completely
metamorphosed with the very impact of my discomfortness. I may not be happy
with her business career or it would hurt my emotion, thinking such she left
her MBA career followed by officer at a nationalised bank (IOB) & again
class-2 at Govt. Of Odisha. Each passing day I am feeling guilty for my
selfishness, I am the perpetrators of these dastardly crimes. She can’t even
think to take any independent decision of her life because she is completely
loyal to me.
But what can I
do. Why god is playing hide-n-seek with my destiny? Why I am complete failure? Preparing
for something different is crime? Gathering bunches degrees has no means in the
society. Sequential euphony of life is disharmonized during these days. My luck
is to me like the quintessence of all inclination to which my sense are
completely prisoner. But still with her sole support I am fighting my battle silently,
standing firms & grimes as life become a perpetual nightmare.
Defying stiff opposition
of family and friends she is the lone supporter to me. Lastly a taste of happy
tears remembering the forgotten notes of million songs & trying to piece
together all my shattered dream for I am willing and determine to start life
all over again.
